Category Archives: Rants

If I get stuck and can’t think of something to write about, I’ll just ask around for suggestions. So that’s basically what this category is for.

The View from The Outside

It’s a little bit strange, that in just a couple moments, one person can go from someone you love, to someone you both love and hate and want to just shake all the answers out of.

What I’m talking about is that one situation, added to a little bit of pre-existing frustration and judgement, minus a refusal of explanation about it, can very easily become a recipe for disaster. And that my blog readers, has been what I’ve been dealing with since about 10 minutes after my last very uplifting post.

When something is seen from a different point of view from an outsider (which in this case happened to be me), it can be seen as horrifying, when really, it’s completely harmless. And even after a vague explanation is given, it’s not until all the details are out that I was able to think clearly about it. So at least they can justify having a reason to do something that was never taken into consideration of how it would look to someone on the outside looking in.

What still bothers me a little, is that I’ve fought so hard for so long for an explanation that could have been given a long time ago and avoided this whole thing. And now that the whole, non threatening truth finally came out, I just feel numb – sort of like I’d been dumped and then tried to stay friends right away. However that wasn’t the case, and me and my fiance are pretty well back to being okay with eachother; it’ll just take a little bit of time before these scars are completely healed.

______________________________

I’m sorry if this didnt make much or any sence at all, it was just something I had to write about, in my own kind of secret way. That and I’ve gotten around 4 hours of sleep in the last two days, and it’s currently one in the morning.

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Update: What’s Going on in my Head.

There’s some people in the world who find comfort enough in everyone that they can tell them anything that’s wrong and not even think twice about it. Me on the other hand, get annoyed by those people and turn to my blog. Where people can read about my life but I don’t actually have to say anything. No I’m not going to spill out my deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, but I’m sure you’ll get the point.

As the school year comes closer to an end, I’ve wanted nothing more than to go home and just be with my boyfriend & family. And possibly because of that, everything negative that’s been happening here has been pushing me closer and closer to the edge of loosing my patience.
So now, I really want to go home.

I love some of the people I’m always around, and others, well, not so much. Let’s just say I don’t understand why they do what they do on multiple levels. The thing is, the people I don’t understand keep getting worse, and I’ve just kind of given up.

So now, I really don’t have any sort of motivation to be around anyone until I get home.

So there’s my cheery little update.
Yay.

– Kim

Winter Break Adventures

The hollidays are done, and it’s been back to school in some new classes for me. But before I go on about what’s been happening in the new year so far, I’ll have to fill you in on my adventures over the break.

For the most part, it was your typical visiting with the family and eating a little too much food at Christmas dinners, which went well as per usual. My moms family is mainly located in Windsor, so that’s were we travelled first. Before the break began, I was informed that my grandma was unoficially diagnosed with dimensia, and the stories that my mom had told me before made it sound like she had more or less just lost her mind, but in a funny kind of way. My grandma had been apparently been making comments about how the barcode on a cleenex box was how they tracked you down, and other kind of consperacy theorys like that. I guess it might have worsened by the time I saw her, but in person, it was the farthest thing from funny. To me, we had lost her, and every little bit of who she was. She would look at me and say things like “slippers”, or the most random things you could think of (mind you we had been talking about slippers about half an hour ago). She would walk down a hallway mumbling random words with a goofy smile, sit down, and two secconds later she would get back up and walk somewhere else. Before we would always have to convince her to walk for a couple of secconds. After a while I got over the initial shock of ‘she’s nothing like the grandma I’ve known for the last 19 years’, but it’ll be a long time untill I’m fully used to it.

Things got better after that for the most part, Mark (my boyfriend) and I went skating with my mom, aunt, and cousins, which if my skates fit at the time I’m sure I would’ve stayed on the ice for a little longer. It was nice to catch up with that side of the family, since we all live multiple hours from eachother.

While we returned home safely, things remained staying well. More Christmas dinners with Mark’s family, and lots of time spent shopping (and even more time trying to get in and out of the parking lot). Everything continued going fine, that is until the 30th of December. It was very foggy out while Mark and I were driving to my house after picking up things for the new years party, throw in a weird angled intersection and my hollidays went from good to well, not so good. As well as the fog outside the car, the windows were fogged up on the inside as well. I was wiping the window on my side down so we could see who was coming, saw no one, and proceded to cross the intersection. About a third of the way through we were struck by a van that hit the back of the front wheel, came side by side, and went off in opposite directions. Although I know what happened, doesn’t nessecarily mean I remember it all – since my side got hit, the initial impact caused me to bang my head off the side window and was apparently enough for me to black out for a few secconds. Basically what I remember was wiping off the window, the sound of the hit, screaming and banging my head off the window & getting a weird taste in my mouth, and then being at the side of the road (the doctor said it was likely just a mild concussion). Although it was extremely foggy, the van that hit us was going about 80 km/h which was the speed limit for that road. Not only that, but once Mark saw the other driver he leaned over and said “hey, she looks familiar .. doesn’t she work at the store?”. Yup, not only does she own/work at the store in my hometown, but I’d known her since I was at least 5.
Vehicles asside, everyone who was involved in the accident was fine. Mark ended up having to pay a $110 ticket for failure to yeild at a stop sign (or something like that), and asside from whiplash and a sore head, I was fine. I do consider myself to be lucky that nothing worse happened, because it very easily could have. It’s just the “what if’s” that scare me the most – like, what if we were just a little bit further into the intersection, what if it was something much bigger than a van that hit us, stuff like that.

New years went well for the most part, a little less exciting than previous years, but still good.
And while I planned on going on a little bit about the new year so far, this post is surely long enough, so that will just have to wait.
Hope you all had safe and happy holidays, and I’ll type to you later.

– Kim ♥

College Rant (& I need a hug)

Okay, I haven’t ranted in a while, so I figured it might help at the moment.
So here’s the deal, I’m studying photography at mohawk college, it’s the first year that the program has ran, and basically, I’m not happy. I’ve been patient, since it is the first year that the program has ran, I’ve given this program and its teachers some slack, but even now that everything is set up and running smoothly, we’re still not accomplishing anything. We come to class, expect to stay for the 3 hours it says on our schedual, we’re givin another project with no advice, and 20 minutes into class we’re let go. If I wanted to be doing that, I would’ve just gotten a job instead of paying to ‘learn’. I didn’t really mind this at first, but “yay short classes” quickly turned into “okay, now I want to do something else”. Now I’m not saying we haven’t done anything, but what we have done feels like we’ve done it a million times.

For the most part, everything I already know about taking pictures and editing I’ve either taught myself or been taught through examples, trial and error. I feel like I’m not learning anything by just being told “do this, this and this and voila”. Maybe it’s just because it’s not what I’m used to doing, but whatever the reason, I don’t like it.

Its been hard enough adjusting to living on my own, being away from my friends, family and boyfriend back home, and I really gotta say, so far it hasn’t been worth being away from all of them. Yes I’ve made friends here, and to be honest they’ve been the main reason that I wouldn’t mind staying here longer. Its kind of been like summer camp; it’s nice to get away for a little while and meet new people, but after too long you just get tired and want to go home to the ones you know and love.

I guess in conclusion, I have no idea what I want to do anymore – but I know I could sure use a hug and a familiar face.

ps. is there such thing as a pre-mid life crisis?

A Little Bit of Make-up and Not Enough Time.

Picking a college (or university) is kind of like picking what make-up you want from the store. (if there are any guys reading this, no this mostly won’t be about make-up, so please, keep reading).

Picking up make-up you assume that once your outside you will tan, and thus not be so much of a lighter shade any more, and so, you pick up a shade in between what you are now, and what you think you will be come the summer (or maybe that’s just me). As for how this ties into deciding a post-secondary school, its pretty much the same concept. You pick the school you like the most at the time, and think will be a good choice for the duration of your time there.

Well here’s the thing – I stink at picking out make-up; I currently have two bottles of it that are still too dark for my skin, and it’s practically the middle of summer. And at the moment, I’m kind of wondering if the same thing runs true for picking out colleges.

You see, today I received a letter from the college that I had initially planned on going to. After a while, it got close to the due date of picking which place I would go to, and so not hearing back from that college, I picked somewhere else assuming that they weren’t planning on accepting me. The letter I received today from the college I wanted to get into stated that I had got in. And now, I’m thrown way off.

I have a place in Hamilton practically across the street from the college that I accepted at, I’ve been paying rent for it since April, and I pretty much had everything planned out for going there.

At the place that I just got accepted to, I like the course a lot better then the one in Hamilton, and I would be doing a lot more then just photography. Only thing is, I don’t have a place, and would figure out what to do with my Hamilton house.

Oh, and did I mention that the letter says I have until tomorrow to decide ?

And so, to sum it all up, UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG.

Movies Galore

So for media – film studies, I have to write a total of 3 movie reviews for just part of our summative on a director of our choice. Me being the Disney freak I am chose Andrew Stanton, aka the guy who either directed or co-directed A Bugs Life, Finding Nemo, and Wall-E. Then for writers craft since I’m doing the college level class, have to write a review on another movie – which I still want to find out what said movie even is.

Sounds pretty easy, 4 film reviews, I’d get the hang of it after about the 2nd one right ? Noope. I’m pretty sure that the ‘how to write about a film’ sheet in media is completely different then the one we got in writers craft, which means the one review may kind of suck. Unless for some reason I just haven’t put two and two together yet and realized that I can just use the format from media class for writers craft too, so I kinda hope that that’s the case.

Either way, yay for lots of movies 🙂

Sidenotes:
1. I just found out that Hayden Panettiere does the voice for Dot in Bug’s Life
2. Andrew Stanton not only does the voice for the bug that flies into the bug zapper in Bug’s Life, but he also does the voice for Crush in Nemo. He is my new favourite person on earth. 🙂

Toodles ♥

Simple Minds & Things to do

I came onto wordpress with the intentions of writing something that no one will really care about, but its still writing none the less. Either way, I forgot what I was planning on saying, so I guess this will be a mindless rant of the things going through my head.

First off, Business class – aka where I am right now.
Have you ever had those people in class where no matter what the teacher says, they still seem to have no idea what’s going on? Yeah, those are the people who sit accross from me. Actually, it’s just the one, and if her friends aren’t in class, she suddenly understands everything, or seems to hide her lack of not knowing much. No matter how quiet and hard working the rest of the class is, she’s always talking weather to her friends, or asking the teacher mindless questions, then asking “are you serious?” in reply. I hate the fact that you can’t ignore these kinds of people, you can just wish they’d stop talking, turn on your iPod, and make the best of it (that is if you remember to bring your iPod 😦 ). Anyway, my point being is that this one person seems to make me dread coming to this class.

TOO MANY PROJECTS.
In the classes that I need some time to finish said projects & assignments, their due the next day. And in the one class where she gives us lots of time to do a series of simple projects, I’m usually done within 2 classes, with 4 more classes left to finish. Then I end up right where I am now, writing blogs trying to somewhat effectivly use my time since everything else is at home.

Side Notes:
1. It’s mine & my boyfriend’s one year today. So, yay (:
2. I’m pretty sure my teacher meant to say black-outs, instead of brown-outs, but knowing my luck that could be a thing too.
3. I spend too much time on the computer at home. Why? Every time I sit down in business class my first instinct is to take off my shoes.
4. Even though my phone is in my pant pocket, I mainly feel it vibrate in my foot.

Toodles for now ♥

Politics & Some Other Stuff

After an hour of dance & covered in sweat, I unwillingly got to go to (don’t quote me on this, cause I have no idea what it’s actually called) the thing where the local people for each party for the elections answer questions and talked a bit about what their goals are. This meeting was at the old New Hamburg arena, which felt strange, because 5 or 6 years ago on that same stage, the drama summer camp that I went to that year performed our rather lame attempt at a mini play, I believe of Jack & the Bean Stalk – in which I was a cow.

It’s interesting – not so much listening to what they say, but watching the people around you. There’s the ones who are scribbling on their note pad whenever someone says anything, others who vigorously nod & smile along with the things they apparently agree with, the children who got dragged along with mom or dad, and the people like me, who subconsciously listen while staring off into space.

As for what was actually said, not too exciting, but it’s elections, which isn’t an overly exciting thing to begin with. Of course you have the ones that try & get their party name stuck in your head by unnecessarily repeating it 5 times for every question, the other party that has good ideas and just seems to be re-wording what they’ve been saying for every other question, and those who just answer the question, plain and simple. Though I do have to say the guy who just reworded everything was kind of amusing.
“insert question here”
“…we need to save the environment, starting with fuel efficiency (insert mini rant)”
“insert second question here”
“…we want to support (insert post-secondary class names that have something to do with environmental health here)”
“insert third question here”
“… (something to do with hybrid cars)”
Obviously this is the green party, and it could have just been the guy who was representing them who apparently is new to election stuff, but it just seemed like the same things over and over.
But as far as amusement goes, that’s about as good as it got.

So did going to this help me decide who I’m voting for? Not really.
But I guess I had nothing to loose.

The Down Side

I love going on school trips, especially the music trip which I have been looking forward to every year for the last 4 years. but this year, going to Chicago, was the last year I’ll be going on a W.O. music trip.

While being all pumped up for college next year, it’s been hard to see what things I’ll be missing out on back home – that is until the Chicago trip. Well, not quite. First Footloose, then France, then Chicago. Each thing making me slightly more aware of the next thing coming up, and soon being over, and then good bye high school.

I’m still pumped to go off to Mohawk next year, just not so excited to leave high school friends & experiences behind; so it evens out mostly.

They say you learn something new every day, and for the last little while I’ve been learning not to just look forward to stuff, but to treasure the time while your doing the looked forward to stuff. I guess that’s some good advice for life over all too.

And well, that’s probably the cheesiest post I’ll write, but hey, its true.
So here’s to exams, sumatives and graduation.

Toodles ♥

Parlez-vous anglais ?

Salut, bonjour .. hey.

So it’s Paris day two, we went to the Eiffle Tower, walked for a good 3 hours, and rode the metro in the wrong direction to the hotell.

I don’t know what it is, weather it’s the Eiffel Tower sales people who basically harrass you into buying their crap, my lack of knowing what people are saying to me, and vice versa, not being able to walk one minute without inhaling someones cigarette smoke, jetlag, or just the fact that I’m away from all my friends, but my concience decided to kick in to make my day even better. (or maybe its because my pizza keeps falling appart :P)

I know, I need to do a billion things for school and then some, like writing a letter of intent for a college that’s 3 hours away from my house & getting a portfolio together by monday, while I’m in France, and most of my pictures are at home.

– breathe in, breath out –

I suppose I should stop complaining about my life, considering that at the moment I’m in France, so brain, stfu.
Au revoir for now, and here’s hoping that tomorrow is better.
🙂